I’m not going to lie, I’ve been a bit rubbish with blogging for the past few weeks. Why? No other reason than life got in the way. I’ve been budgeting, working, struggling to sleep, and just trying to have a life in general, all the while this little patch of the internet has slowly been slipping into a downward spiral of not-so-new content. Not cool.
It was during this time that I was most at one with my thoughts, not completely drowning in them or wallowing on the possibilities of “shoulda, woulda, coulda” but more like little epiphanies that have had quite a profound impact on my way of thinking.
Next year I’ll be 25. Seriously 25. I think I can actually feel the uncertainty about life slowly creeping in… I don’t want to be going through a “quarter life crisis”.
I understand that things happen to everyone at different times in their lives, but every now and then the moment of realisation hits me; there are people my age absolutely smashing it. (I’ll add here, I’m not jealous or comparing myself, I’m comfortable in my own skin. But I think it’s about time I actually sort my own shit out.)
*Enter deep thinking and self-reflection here*
At the end of 2016, I was in a good place, I didn’t have a doubt in my head about what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go. I was going about my life happy go lucky and I was taking each day as it comes. But by doing this I was effectively becoming complacent, happy with my own little bubble of reality and not actually striving for anything in particular.
So what have I realised?
Constantly haunted by the fear of failing, goals have become something that I always try to avoid, unless I know for sure that they’re reachable. Yet, it’s this one little fear that causes me to procrastinate, and watch other people as time just slips by, but lately there are three things in particular that have stood out a lot more than anything else.
I NEED A CONTINGENCY FUND
Saving for a house is one thing, and I’m currently budgeting for a car (more on that to come), but what I mean here is I literally a reserve fund for a rainy day, and I don’t mean like shopping or for a holiday, I mean for when I need to leave my job or ‘real life’ crops up and I need money asap.
I haven’t been living outside my means, but I can definitely say I’ve been living a bit too comfortably as if nothing can go wrong, so I’m currently working out a plan to budget for the next couple of months to build up this ‘cash cushion’.
I NEED TO AVOID LETTING THIS BLOG SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS
I recently had my appraisal at work and it went ridiculously well, but it made me realise content creation is what I know and do best. It doesn’t matter how much people tell me “all this other stuff will be great for you” it’s not what I want to do.
What I’ve always known I want to do evolves around journalism and creative writing; no surprises as to why I chose to do a degree in it! My blog always ends up getting side-lined for other things, and of course it’s my thing on the side for a creative outlet, but it’s also what I’m most passionate about and I need to really stop letting it slip when other things crop up. I guess in this sense my time management needs to be worked on as well which leads on to my next point…
I NEED TO ORGANISE MY LIFE
Up until recently the only things that ever made me open my calendar was to check when I get paid and checking what the date was, and even then you don’t actually need to open the calendar for that.
I have tried to keep a diary on multiple occasions but I don’t like having to walk around with the extra weight in my bag, so I’ve vowed to utilise the calendar in my phone to its full potential. That being said I am still yet to put in dedicated hours to writing, taking photos or my freelance work and just do it whenever I feel like I should, which is entirely unpractical when you want to set deadlines.
I have an iPhone, iPad and MacBook (clearly I’m Apple fiend!) so when I eventually do work out my dedicated times at least they’ll sync up across all devices so whatever I’m using I’ll know what I should be doing.
Anyway, my little epiphany has left me feeling really motivated these days, like seriously, not just future-wise but just in general about life!