Would you believe me if I said I don't actually have much confidence? Not many people do.
I’ve started writing this post more times than I can count and yet I somehow have always found myself struggling to get what I want to say down… I mean you wouldn’t think I did a degree in writing would ya?! But seriously...
Over the past few years my anxiety has crept up to an all-time high whilst my confidence dropped to a newfound low; and the truth is, my persona seems to exude more confidence than I'm able to fully portray myself. I don’t even have any sort of explanation for it, and that’s probably the worst part; I don’t really have a starting point to work on.
How the hell do you come back from that?
To be honest, I could really use all the help I can get with this one, because I genuinely have no idea. I’ve been trying to work on it for a while now, and the only conclusion I've come to is that, for me at least, it’s a slow and long process.
Back when I was helping organise the THIRTY PLUS Awards, I was emailing Kaye (Fordtography) so often that I decided to just bite the bullet and ask her to book me in for a shoot. I had been following Kaye for agessss, as well as so many others who love her, so I knew I had no reason to feel uneasy and to be honest just setting up the whole thing made me feel 10x better.
Fast forward to mid-November, or throwback depending on how you look at it, and I'm standing in the middle of Soho at lunch feeling at ease in front of a camera.
I don't know if I'd say I found the courage to just do it, but I know Kaye made me feel so comfortable that, with the exceptions of the pigeons, for once the hustle and bustle around us didn't really phase me. For this I can't thank her enough; it might seem like a small thing but I'm still on a massive high about it.
I'm not the only one who does, or will in the future, but I'd recommend Kaye to absolutely anyone. She's fun, bubbly and friendly, not to mention calming, and I totally can't wait for the next time I'm out and about with her!