OH HI, HEY, HELLO
Remember me? Yeah I know, it’s been a minute, hasn’t it?
Towards the end of the 2017, and even at the beginning of this year, I was running pretty thin. Between looking for a job, getting a job and sorting myself I went MIA from pretty much all aspects of my life. Only to resurface when people started to rip into me about being a ghost. Honestly, I just needed some me time, and this is something that I won’t apologise for, because switching off is something that I’m really all for. But I feel like I’ve blinked in slow motion and found myself in September 2k18, and I won’t lie, I. Am. Tripping.
Whilst not being ‘switched on’ or even really opening my MacBook other than to do the occasional task has been somewhat refreshing, I’ve definitely missed the writing, and it feels seriously good to be back at it. Admittedly it has taken a little longer to get back into the swing of things but with a shiny new layout I’m ready to get back to it!
So what’s new? What’s going on? What happ’ning?
The answer: not much. Standard Juanita, been lazy af.
Back in July I turned 25 as my birthday crept up I became more conscious about what my 10-year-old self wanted by this time. I actually remember sitting in the library of primary school writing “by the time I’m 25 I want: to be married, have two kids, be rich, have a house with a car, and go on five holidays a year. Low and behold this has not happened, and a quick Google has confirmed I’m currently going through some sort of quarter-life crisis.
- I’ve questioned what I’m meant to be doing with my life.
- Been frustrated at the lack of ability to find the answers to the question above.
- I’ve got a disillusioned idea that if I appear to have my shit together, it would actually happen – FYI the fake it until you make it malarkey doesn’t always work.
- I stuck at a job I didn’t enjoy for nearly two years, because I could have done it with my eyes closed (before being made redundant anyway… the irony…)
- Considered hibernating from life for the 17369599th time before realising: no money = no food, but food is life so clearly that plan has flaws.
- I Googled “quarter life crisis’ for the 85th time this week.
I think it’s time to actually stop searching t’internet for the answer for “have a screwed up my existence, if not, how to avoid it”. It’s about time I focus on: the career gal in me, who is always striving to be bigger and better; the adult in me who has started looking at mortgages/ houses (someone, send help!); and the child in me who reminds me to have fun and not put too much pressure on myself.
Who knows, maybe all this pressure I’ve put on myself, anxiety aside, has helped me to focus on the things that I want most in life. On the flip side it’s important to stop looking at what I’ve not achieved, and look at what I’ve done, what I’ve overcome and what I actually have in my life. Let’s see what being 25 has to offer…